How To Save A Life
by Telemachos
Summary: Complete. “You never though that your end would come so soon. But you know that you have do everything in your power to make sure that it’s not her end as well.” LJ
1. Hogwarts

**How To Save A Life **

Written By 

Telemachos

Summary

Humans are fickle creatures and would do anything to save themselves. But if you loved someone, really loved them, wouldn't you do everything in your power to save them? Even if it meant stepping in front of a thousand curses?

Disclaimer

Almost everything you read past this point belongs to JK Rowling – the plot, the characters, ect. The only thing that belongs to me is the little details in between, and only because Rowling neglected to fill them in for us in her books. Also, I have to give the credit for the title and one of the chapter names to The Fray (or is it Frey?)– the song really has nothing to do with this fic, but the title fit in.

This will not be repeated again in any of the chapters.

Additional Notes

The idea for this came up a while ago, and after writing the initial details for every chapter, I kind of forgot about it. As you can see, I finally remembered it again, and kept on with the idea, abandoning my other fics because I liked the way this sounded. Obviously it's about Lily and James (if you've read anything I've written before then you'll know most of it is) and the different stages of their relationship. I tried to have a mixture of humor and seriousness in it, so hopefully you think the chapters flow.

Also: this story is already completely finished. The faster the reviews come (although, judging by my other stories, I can't expect too much), the faster the updates come. I figure I'll be posting every week or so unless you guys give me reason to do it faster.

Without further ado…

**Chapter One: Hogwarts**

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_You've heard about it, but seeing it for the first time…it just takes your breath away._

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He wasn't the only one that was awed into silence when they came around the corner of the lake and saw the school for the first time ever, a huge, fairytale-like castle with glowing windows and balconies. A redheaded girl in the boat next to him had gasped out loud, and a boy in his boat nearly dropped the lit firework he had been planning to use on the legendary poltergeist once they got up to the school. Within a moment he had regained his composure, though, and leaned back as cockily as his eleven-year-old self could, rolling his eyes at the supposed elementary reactions his year mates were having.

"It's just a castle, not a Muggle subway!" he called coolly from his indolent position against the side of the boat.

The redhead turned towards him, her eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. "Oh yeah, because a huge magical castle in the middle of _nowhere _is so common and a Muggle subway is just one in a million!" she snapped sarcastically. Scattered laughter drifted across the water. He scowled.

"And I wonder how _you_ would know that," he sneered.

"What's that supposed to men?" the girl challenged immediately.

"Now that's enough!" an authoritive voice called gruffly from the first boat. He couldn't remember what teacher it belonged to, but he settled down sulkily, still sore that a mere girl had bested him. The boy in his boat leaned forward, his face sporting a mischievous grin.

"Hey," he said, his tone light and full of fun. "How about we forget the poltergeist and stick it down _her _jumper instead?" He gestured to the firework in his hand and raised his eyebrows impishly. "You up for it?"

He risked another glance at the girl, who was now talking quietly to a blonde girl in her boat. His gaze flicked back to Firework Boy and he smiled, his grin spreading slowly up to light up his whole face with mischief. "I'm in."

And so it was, ten minutes later, that he found himself being slapped in the face for the very first time by the redhead with startling green eyes, getting his first detention ever from a strict professor that pulled him out among gales of laughter, and making his very first friend while serving that detention.

Just as he walked back into the Great Hall, he looked up and thought to himself,

_Welcome to Hogwarts._

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	2. The Bet

**Chapter Two: The Bet**

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_She whips around in the hallway, her red hair flying in her face and her eyes glinting in fury. Somehow you never imagined her reaction to be this way – but hell, who had ever turned down James Potter? So you resolve not to worry._

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"So what about it, Evans?" he said, sticking his hands in his pockets and leaning as languidly as he could (for a fourteen year old, that is) against a suit of armor. "You, me, Hogsmeade?" He waited impatiently for her to affirm his request. There was no way he was losing this bet, he thought. No way. Besides, Remus was wrong. Neither Lily Evans nor any other girl in the school above the below the fourth year would ever turn him down. He was _James Potter,_ and it was a known fact that the girls practically fell over him.

"I'm not sure I heard you correctly, Potter," she said slowly. Somehow, in his elation that she seemed to be considering his proposal, he missed that her tone was cold and unforgiving, nothing like that of a girl who was about to say yes to a date.

"Exactly what I said, Evans," he said, rolling his eyes. Honestly, _this _was the girl that was supposed to be top of their class? Maybe she was bribing the teachers or something. She definitely didn't seem too bright now that he was actually having a conversation with her.

"So let me get this straight," she said, walking forward with slow, deliberate steps until she was but a yard away from him. She crossed her arms against her chest and said, her voice sickeningly sweet, "After three years of pranking me, making fun of me, and calling me names…" Her voice gained a hard edge to it, although it still kept its buttery tone. "You've suddenly realized that you want to go out with me?"

He raised an eyebrow in affirmation, flashing her a charming grin that never failed to send girls swooning.

Her voice instantly dropped its sugared coating and became cold and furious. "Next time you try and ask a girl out for a bet, _Potter_, I suggest you at least pretend to like her. Calling her by her last name doesn't seem to do the trick." And then she turned around and walked briskly away, leaving him standing open-mouthed and humiliated in the middle of a crowded hallway.

It was then he realized for the first time that when she had looked him directly in his face, her eyes impossibly deep and furious and full of a hidden passion that only ever seemed to come out around him, that Lily Evans was beautiful. There was only one problem now.

_She was the only one that said "no". _

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	3. Growing Up

**Chapter Three: Growing Up**

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"_You've changed," she whispers, before leaning over and pressing her lips to yours._

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It had come as a surprise to all of them when he'd received his school letter for the coming spring and found a Head Boy badge in it. In fact, the first words out of his supposedly best friend's mouth had gone something like,

"Dumbledore made _you _Head Boy? I was right, he is going barmy!"

Even if Dumbledore _was _barmy, though, he got the position, and to his utmost delight the Head Girl was none other than Lily Evans. The prior year to that he had begun to mature up a bit, lessening his pranks against the Slytherins and throwing fewer hexes out in the corridors. It must have been that that had caused Dumbledore to come to his conclusion that he could be a possible candidate for Head Boy.

Faced with the prospect of responsibility, he did not, as Lily Evans expected of him, withdraw from his tasks and leave all the work for her to do. Instead he contributed as well as he could, making every meeting, calculating weekly points, and otherwise helping her as best as he could. After a while, it became clear to the aforementioned Head Girl that he was different and that he was no longer the arrogant prat she had set out to refuse a date to hundreds of times in the past several years. As she began to open up to him, he started to get to know her even better than before, making his initial interest in her rise until he felt butterflies dance in his stomach every time her eyes caught his.

But even then he never went so far as to ask her out on a date. He flirted openly, spent time with her outside of class, and waved to her in the hallways, but he never did dare test his chances. He was too afraid for everything he had worked for to go down the drain. Gradually, she began to approach him in a different manner, participating freely in his flirtatious banter and occasionally glancing at him with a wistful grin and a faraway look in her eye. He never noticed, though.

It was during patrols that the missing pieces finally clicked together. They had finished clearing the North Tower out of stragglers and were leaning on the balcony, looking out to the darkened silhouettes in the Forbidden Forest and speaking in hushed voices that echoed across the room.

"Do you ever worry about what'll happen when we leave Hogwarts?" she said. Her question, although spoken casually, seemed to be asking for more than a quick affirmation.

"Sure I do," he said quietly, letting his eyes wander over the lake and the forest before shifting back to her face. "Voldemort's gaining power every day, and I know that my family is directly in his path. I worry about them all the time. And all these Muggles and Muggleborn he's targeting…" He expelled a deep breath, throwing her a surreptitious look. "I just want to get in the fight to try and help people, you know? But sometimes I wonder if that's not enough." He paused for a brief moment, studying the melded shadows their bodies made against the tiled floor. "But I do know one thing," he said, looking up and meeting her gaze again. "I'll do anything and everything I can to help, even if it doesn't make a difference. Because even if the fight seems hopeless sometimes, I know that good will triumph in the end. Even if I don't live to see it."

He felt foolish by the time he finished, wondering if he had sounded terribly cryptic or grim, but when he risked a glance up to her face, he saw that she was looking at him with a mixture of awe and gratitude rather than the disgust he had expected. Before he knew what had happened, her arms were thrown around his neck in an impulsive hug, breathing deeply into his shoulder as if to steady her breaths. It took him a moment to react, hesitantly wrapping his arms around her waste and drawing her closer. He had to close his eyes to regain control of his emotions as her usual flowery scent drifted up to his nostrils. When he opened them, he found that she had drawn back a bit and was now gazing straight at him, her head tilted up so she would be able to see him better.

"That's…really noble, James," she said softly, and he had to avert his eyes as the impulse to kiss her rose again. Her face was mere inches from his now, and he could see every freckle on her nose, every curling eyelash. "You just…you've changed so much, over this last year." His eyes found hers again, capturing the emerald orbs in the moonlight. He swallowed visibly, wishing she wasn't so goddamned beautiful. "You're…not a boy any more." She grazed her hand over his cheek, forcing him to bite back a groan, his eyes darkening and searching hers, wondering desperately if her motive was anything akin to his. "James," she breathed again, her eyes flicking up to his before landing on his lips, and this time, she tentatively leaned forward, brushing her mouth against his softly.

It was as though an electrical switch had just gone off in his body, warmth spreading through his arms and stomach. Taking a moment to react in his surprise, he pushed one of his hands up to cup the side of her face and slid the other one around to the small of her back. Her lips were sweet and soft against his mouth, and he kissed her more tenderly than he had ever kissed a girl before, almost as though she was fragile enough to break. When he finally drew back, his eyes were hooded and glazed and his breathing pattern irregular. A slow grin spread up his face, the corners of his mouth forming dimples in his cheeks. "You're so beautiful," he whispered. And then he leaned down to kiss her again, more forceful this time, drawing her tongue from the confines in her mouth and murmuring husky praises in her ear as he kissed and nipped at her neck.

Much later, when the moon had reached its highest point in the sky and the outlines of the trees were impossible to see, he pulled her to him again, smiling at the fact that her body fit perfectly next to his. "Does this mean you'll go to Hogsmeade with me?" he said, light tone barely making up for the tremor of brief anxiety in his chest.

It was at this moment, for the first time in four years, that he didn't receive a slap on the face or a vicious retort or a cold silence. This time, for the first time, Lily Evans said yes, and in that moment, when he kissed her, he realized what had caused her change of heart, what had finally made her see.

_He had changed. And he had changed for her._

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	4. The Morning After

**Chapter Four: The Morning After**

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_The sun breaks through the crack in the curtains, lighting her fanned out hair to glow around her head like a golden halo. Last night spoke amazing, but this morning whispered heaven. _

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He didn't remember quite how it started, but now that he saw how beautiful she looked splayed out across his bed he found he didn't care. All he knew that she was at long last finally his - his to hold, his to kiss, and his to love.

Seeing her stir slightly under the beam of golden sunlight crisscrossing from the window, he rolled over and gently pulled back a strand of hair from her face. She turned around groggily, and when she saw his face and remembered where she was, she immediately turned away from him, a blush spreading up her cheeks. He gently kissed the back of her neck, his way of telling her that last night hadn't been a lie and he still loved her more than anything in the world. Gradually her shoulders loosened and she leaned back into him, although her tight hold on the covers remained firm.

He flipped her around and leaned over her, brushing her lips softly with his own and whispering, "I love you," into them. She smiled, the beginnings of a grin slowly spreading across her face as she met his gaze and knew without any question that he was sincere.

"I love you too," she whispered, before burrowing herself deeper into his shoulder and expelling a muffled sigh of content. He couldn't seem to keep the smile from his face as his gaze fell on her. Before last night she had been gorgeous, but now that he knew every part of her he knew she was beautiful.

His gaze eventually drifted from her face to rove over the delicate curves of her body that were sloppily hidden by the comforter draped over their bodies. He felt himself blush, something that he knew hadn't ever happened with another girl. Just the slightest touch of her leg against his alerted his senses.

"James," he heard her mumble against his chest, looking up with bleary with pools of emerald light. "James, is anything wrong?"

He smiled again, allowing himself to get lost in her gaze. "Just thinking about how beautiful you are," he said honestly, and earned a rosy blush. He leaned down and kissed her again, less soft and more demanding, before an unpleasant thought suddenly surfaced in his mind.

"Oh bugger," he groaned, drawing away from her very suddenly and beginning to peel away the covers to get dressed.

"What's wrong?" she said groggily, propping herself up by his pillow and looking at him, obviously still suffering the early hour.

"Class in twenty minutes," he reminded her, scowling a bit. He ceased pulling his slacks on and dropped back next to her on the sheets, adjusting his face into a pitiful smile. "Meet me after lunch?"

She smiled and groaned simultaneously, dropping backwards on the mattress before sitting back up and grabbing his hands with her own. "Let's skip classes today," she whispered, sliding her arms around his neck.

It was all the excuse he needed.

Now, it wasn't the first time that James Potter or Lily Evans had skipped a class, but it was the first time they had done it together. For the first time, she was putting aside previously held priorities to spend time with him, and that was because of only one reason.

_They were in love._

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	5. Forever

**Chapter Five: Forever**

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_I love you," you whisper, and then you seal your fate by sliding a ring on her finger._

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It had taken him three months to pick out the perfect ring, and then another six before he could work up the nerve to actually ask her. It seemed that every time he decided he was going to do it, his courage failed, leaving him sweating and shaking and wondering whether she did, in fact, love him. Hours later, when they were together in a candlelit restaurant, or walking on the beach, or even just sitting outside on his front porch with the fireflies buzzing pleasantly around them, he would manage to convince himself once again that she _did _love him, and maybe she _would _want to spend the rest of her life with him. But then the next day dawned again, and when he pulled out that simple black box from the bottom of his sock drawer, the trembling began anew, and he knew he couldn't do it.

It was on her birthday, the tenth of June, that he finally mustered up the courage to do it, using his wand to transfigure his backyard into a fairyland of sorts. The trees sparkled with hidden lights; small, fluttery pixies danced serenely in the background to soft music; a gurgling creek with golden water ran under a glowing table in the middle of the scene… If it was a fairytale she wanted, a fairytale she would get.

Even after that, it took him over an hour just to decide on his clothes. Should he wear a type of Muggle suit, like the ones they wore at the dress parties she sometimes dragged him to? Or should he stick with dress robes? What, in fact, if she came in casual wear and he appeared overdressed? Eventually his best mate had to Apparate over and tell him, quite soothingly, that even if he looked like a troll before bath day his girlfriend – soon to be fiancé, he hoped – would still love him.

Needless to say, that didn't help much.

It was only the knowledge that she would be arriving in twenty minutes – and unfortunately, she was never late – that made him grab a dark navy dress robe, attempt to straighten his hair, and look over the yard one last time before digging through his drawer and realizing, his face growing slack, that the ring was nowhere to be found. He searched frantically for six minutes, looking under every piece of furniture in the house in vain, when he finally remembered that he was, in fact, a wizard. Several moments later, the ring was safely in his pocket, and she was ringing the door to his flat to come in.

She was beautiful, was the first thing that came to his frantic mindset when she came through the door. Her dress, a glittery sort of emerald that matched her eyes, ended at her ankles and dipped dangerously low on the back to expose her white skin. She laughed prettily when she saw his badly hidden gape, shaking her head and doing a little twirl in front of him.

"How do I look?" she said, stopping in front of him and smiling.

"You look…amazing," he managed, inwardly congratulating himself for not stuttering.

"You don't clean up too badly yourself," she smiled, leaning forward and giving him a quick – far too quick, in his opinion – kiss on his lips. "May I come in?"

After that he remembered very little. He knew that she had been struck completely speechless when she saw what he had done for her in the back, and that the food he'd asked his family's house elves to prepare was flawless, and that the other gift he'd gotten her (a necklace that, unbeknownst to her, matched the ring) had made her jaw drop open and led her to fling her arms around his neck. All the while, though, in spite of his charming façade, he was turning the ring in his pocket, waiting and yet dreading his chance.

It came sooner than he would have liked. She was shifting in her chair, a telltale sign that she was becoming restless of sitting, and because his backyard opened directly into open country, he took the opportunity to ask if she would join him for a walk. She accepted and took his arm, smiling at him so sweetly that it was hard for him to breathe.

He never would be able to recount any of the conversation they held in that half hour. It was difficult enough to keep track of the time. After a long while, though, she finally noticed, pausing mid-sentence and giving him a queer look with her head tilted to the side, asking him if anything was wrong. He knew he had to tell her. Had to ask. And so he drew her aside, meeting her gaze properly for the first time since the beginning of the night. He wish he could say that his words were elegant and romantic, flawless and effortless, but that would be a lie. After several attempts of not being able to manage a single coherent sentence, he took a shaky breath and expelled a short laugh, taking her hands in his own and meeting her confused eyes with no small amount of apprehension.

"Lily," he began, so softly the words would have gone unnoticed if the world was any louder than its current silence. "I love you. I love you more than anything in the world, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He lowered his forehead to rest on hers, not daring to open his eyes for fear of what he would see in them. "And I was just wondering…if you feel anything close to this…" He slowly detached himself from her and got on his knee, forced to look up at her now. Her hands had flown to her cheeks and her eyes were bright, brighter and greener than he thought he'd ever seen them. He hoped it was a good sign.

"I was just wondering if you would do me the honor—" He pulled the small jewelry box out of his pocket and flipped it open with unconscious ease, revealing the simple silver band with a single Goblin crafted diamond in the center. "—of marrying me and making me the luckiest man in the world."

Here it was. The moment of truth. He bit his lip, eyes searching hers with evident anxiety. What if he was wrong? What if she didn't really love him or just wasn't ready to get married? What if she said no? He realized with unabridged horror that she wasn't saying anything, that the silence in the night was the same as it was when he finished his words. But then a pair of arms was thrown around his neck and all of the sudden she was crying into his shoulder, saying that yes; of course she would marry him… And everything was all right again.

Someone wise once said that there was a first for everything. But some things are both firsts and lasts, and he knew that this would be one of those times. She was his love; his essence; his body and mind and soul. She was his other half. And when she uttered those words, those beautiful words of affirmation, he briefly wondered if perhaps his very being would split with happiness.

But he knew it wouldn't happen.

_Because with her, everything became whole._

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	6. Happily Ever After

**Chapter Six: Happily Ever After**

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_You've never been so nervous in your life, but as soon as she reaches you and takes your hand, you know that whatever happens, you'll always have her. And since she's by your side there isn't really any sense in worrying._

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It was odd, really how before he had met her he had always been completely self-assured and collected. Now, though, as he stood in front of the congregation of friends and family, he though his legs might turn into jelly. The bridesmaids, six of them in all, had already made their way up the aisle and now stood at the front of the ceremony, and he kept wondering why she wasn't there yet. Hadn't the music begun?

Time had started to creep by now, and he felt as though he had been waiting for hours when in fact it had only been minutes. Where was she? Had she gotten c\old feet and decided to leave him? He was terrified, perhaps beyond anything he had ever felt, and he thought he was somehow betraying her by worrying about whether or not she would come.

And then he saw her.

She appeared at the end of the long aisle, bathed in white light streaming from the window. Her dress was long, its train held up by magic, a silky white veil shimmering over her face. And even though her hair was gorgeous, curled into ringlets down her back, and the dress made her impossibly stunning, he couldn't manage to see those things. All he could do was lock his gaze on her face as her father led her by the arm towards him, the light of the sun radiating from her entire being.

She was the most beautiful woman in the world, and soon she would be his.

Tears were cascading silently down her cheeks by the time she made it to the front, but her eyes, never leaving his, were alight with happiness. His hand slid into hers and squeezed ever so slightly, silent testimony of his neverending love. And in that moment, the whole world faded before their eyes until only they existed. The war going on outside, the fear and suspicion, all the terror and death…all were gone for one blessed moment of trust.

Somewhere in the distance he heard the Ministry official speaking, but he couldn't take his eyes off of her, blurs of red and green and white skewing his vision. Soon he was voicing the very vow he had made from the day he realized he was in love with her, the vow that he would love her forever and nothing would stand in the way of his protecting her. She repeated it, her soft voice lulling him into a drunken days, those two simple syllables sounding like music to his ears.

"I do."

Before he knew it she was kissing him and he was kissing her and they were stepping down the rose-strewn aisle, cheering and whistling all around them. And then they were making the first cut in their wedding cake, dancing the first dance as husband and wife, and leaving for the first house they were going to share together. For the first time that day he felt the completeness of unconditional peace, reassuring him that this was something that would last throughout ages both grim and joyous.

_They were Lily and James Potter. One name, one love, and now one life._

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	7. Harry

**Chapter Seven: Harry **

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_You meet her in the hospital room and your heart nearly breaks when you see how sweaty and exhausted she is. And as awful as it sounds, you almost hate your baby for having done this to her. Almost._

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It was hard to believe when she first told him that he was going to be a father soon. He had even been scared at first, maybe even a little resentful. It was a silent testimony that their younger years were finally coming to an end. She couldn't drink alcohol any longer; couldn't go to parties; couldn't do any of the household chores that she always ended up taking care of. The baby, even when it wasn't born yet, was taking over their entire lives.

And then it caught on. He was going to be a _father._ He was going to teach Quiddich to him, tell him stories of Hogwarts and all the pranks he used to do, pass on his Invisibility Cloak and watch while he caused havoc for McGonagall. Just like him. His father.

As much as he found himself looking forward to this baby, _their _baby, he couldn't help but feel anxious. They lived in a time of fear, a time where people were actually dying out there, fighting for what they believed in. If something were to happen to him or Lily, that baby would be left alone. An orphan. And as much as he tried not to think of that possibility, the reality was that he fought on the front line almost every day. Already three of the people he knew from Hogwarts were dead, none of them past twenty.

But Lily was happy, and that was all that mattered. Never before an avid shopper, she now perused the stores with enthusiastic zeal, picking out baby blankets and clothes, antagonizing over their son would like a blue room or a green one. (He maintained that blue was a _much _more manly color and the green looked rather too much like Slughorn's favorite tie than was comfortable.)

The baby was to be born in July. Professor Dumbledore, with whom they had remained in touch with through the Order even after quitting school, had expressed some concern over this, though he did not know why. As curious as he was, he suspected that Dumbledore would tell them on his own time and only then. As it was, he became so caught up in planning for the baby and his wife, whose extraordinary mood swings and food requests were difficult enough, that he did not have time to dwell on any of his previous doubts or foreboding thoughts.

The day for the birth finally arrived and, true to the hospital Seer's prediction, the baby went into labor at half past three in the morning. He accompanied his wife all the way to St. Mungo's reverting back and forth from worry for her to excitement for the baby. It was a rather long labor for a witch, and it was only continuous reassuring from the healers that managed to quell his worries. Finally, five hours and fourteen minutes since they had arrived, he was permitted in the hospital room to see her.

She lay propped up against the blinding pillows, her face sweaty and her eyes closed. For one horrible, stricken second he thought that she might be dead, but then she shifted slightly and emitted a quiet sigh, and he felt his heart slow in his chest. As he approached her bedside, walking as silently as he could so as not to disturb her, he thought about how exhausted she looked, more so than he had ever seen her. He knelt gently beside her bed, stroking her hair back softly and kissing the corner of her mouth.

She stirred, tilting her head towards his face and opening her eyes. "James?" she asked, and her voice was so tender and so _whole _that he thought his chest might shatter. Her eyes shone with an unexpected radiance that lit her entire body up with joy. He suddenly noticed that the sheets he had thought were wrapped around her body for warmth were quivering slightly.

"Is…is this…" he asked, knowing the answer all ready. She pushed herself up and held the bundle closer to her chest, smiling at him and biting her lip.

He peered closer, taking in the head of dark hair and the chubby face that was scrunched up as if in thought. "Harry?" he said in wonder, pulling the baby towards him. He could scarcely believe that this, this wrinkled, pink, and somehow _beautiful _baby had come from them. He felt guilt wash over him, guilt for ever feeling resentment to such an innocent creature, guilt for thinking he might steal her love from him, guilt for almost blaming him for Lily's condition. He was beautiful, and he was theirs.

He turned towards her, an alien expression of lingering doubt and amazement and love on his face. "You—" he started, then gave up, pulling her towards him while being careful not to hurt Harry. He kissed her, hard and intense, trying to convey his beating emotions. She returned it, pushing herself up with her hands and twisting them around his neck. Knowing she was already exhausted, he reluctantly released her from his grip, leaning his forehead against hers and breathing deeply.

"I love you," he said, his voice hoarse. "I love you so much, Lil—"

"I love you too," she said, a smile in her voice. "Just don't be sticking your pecker near me for at least a year."

He released a quick laugh. Nothing had changed. Harry was the first one that would ever really compete for his love, but when it all came down to it, she still loved him, and he still loved her. When they later found out that she wouldn't be having any more children, he tried not to feel disappointed, tried not to feel upset. Because he still had her, his first love, and she still had him.

_And that was all that he needed to live with._

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	8. How To Save A Life

**Chapter Eight: How To Save A Life **

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_You never though that your end would come so soon. But you know that you have do everything in your power to make sure that it's not her end as well._

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They weren't living any more. They didn't have jobs, they didn't see any of their old friends, and they didn't leave their house. It was like existing in a dream, a nightmare. Every small slap of a branch against the side of the house sent shivers up his spine, and if he didn't know exactly where they were he found himself struggling for breath. Sometimes he almost caught himself wishing that Voldemort would find them and kill them, just so they wouldn't have to go through this any more. Every time he came close to this though, though, her face materialized in his mind and he was filled with new resolve to never let anyone get to her or his son.

They were the only things keeping him alive. _She_ was the only thing keeping him alive.

If it hadn't been for her or even Harry he would have left already. He never had been the type of person that liked to sit and wait for danger to come to him. If he were going to die, he would have liked to do it in the open, faced with the smallest prospect that he would at least go down with honor. But he couldn't. Not when they were being hunted too.

He loved her so much it hurt. It was breaking him apart, having to know that she could be dead before her twenty-fourth birthday. Life wasn't supposed to be like this. She was supposed to live until she was ninety and die painlessly in her sleep. She was supposed to be Minister of Magic, either that or the witch that would discover how to block the Three Unforgivable Curses. She was supposed to have twelve children and be the nice old lady on the corner that always had fresh cookies baking. She was supposed to never lose that laugh, that beautiful sound that could brighten anyone's day.

She was supposed to live.

He'd tried time and time again to make her leave him, to go into hiding so there was less of a chance that she would be caught. He'd tried to make her forget everything; tried to make her take Harry and leave before it was too late. But she didn't. Every single time she refused, sticking with him even though she knew it could end up costing her life.

It would have hurt less if someone had taken a dagger and carved out his heart.

Now it was Halloween, only a week after they had performed the Filius Charm and effectively shut themselves out of the world. He could hear the small Muggle children outside, passing their house as though it didn't exist and chattering loudly about the sweets they had gotten so far. He felt an aching pain in his chest, knowing that if everything was how it should have been then Harry would be out there for his first Hallows Eve, dressed up as a mouse or a ghost or even a Dementor. But he wasn't. And the way things were looking now it was doubtful that he would be for a very long time.

Eventually the distant reverberations of the children became echoes in his mind, and time drifted past him without leaving any mark or indication. At one point he knew that she came down to sit up with him, burying her head in his shoulders and wrapping her arms around him. After a while she, too, left, kissing him lightly on the jaw and whispering "I love you," before getting up to go to bed.

It could have been hours or minutes or even seconds later when it happened. It was as though a sudden earthquake had shaken the house, causing the chair he was sitting on to collapse and the pictures hanging on the walls to topple off their hooks, glass panes shattering as they smashed against the floor. A churning wind battered the trees outside the window, distorting the black figures that glided across the lawn being led by the single form of a blackened demon.

A spasm of horrible, uncontrollable fear took hold of him. He ran up the stairs to their bedroom, meeting her terrified face with fumbling words and sweaty palms. "It's him, he's come, he's at the door!" he gasped, gripping her head in his hands as though afraid she would slip through his fingers. "Go!" he whispered brokenly, grasping her hand in his own. "Get out and go with Harry. I'll – I'll find you –"

It was a lie and they both knew it. Three times before they had face him, and they both knew, somehow, that there was no going back this time. There was no Dumbledore to save them, no sudden surprises, no light in the darkness. He caught her gaze one last time and then bolted out of the room, taking the stairs four at a time.

They were starting to surround the house now, was the first thing this panicked mind made out, making escape even more impossible. His heart sank. She had to get out _now_, right now–

"James!"

She was still there. She had come down the stairs now, a terrified but determined expression on her pale face, her slender wand gripped tightly in her hand. "Don't—" he rasped, his chest on fire. They were almost to the door now, about to blast it open–

He was by her side in a moment, striding over the distance in three steps. He kissed her, hard and desperate and yet the quickest goodbye any lover ever suffered. "I love you," he said again, and then shoved her away from him. The door blasted open in an explosion of putrid smoke the color of death, shadows and hauntings flashing before his eyes as it did.

"Lily, it's him! Take Harry and go! I'll hold him off!" he heard himself screaming. Voldemort was close, slitting eyes and pasty skin more prominent than last time. And as odd as it was, he felt the fear drain out of him in a rush of giddy relief. She was gone, she had to be by now.

He was the only one left.

He fought, fought harder than ever before, but through it all he knew it was useless. And when the last spell broke though his shield, he knew he was too tired to escape it, too exhausted to postpone death any longer. And then he saw her face by the stairs, her mouth open in a soundless scream, and he realized that she hadn't left yet. Frantic, frantic, he used all of his strength and will and power to dodge, to make one last effort to give her one last second–

The green light struck him directly on the chest, and he was suddenly falling, falling, and he couldn't pick himself up again. He should have heard Harry's cry in the distance, the shrill laughter of a madman, timeless memories of friends promising loyalty until death. But all that reached his ears was a woman's sobbing voice, begging for him to get up to open his eyes, to _live_. And he fought to save her, fought to save her life even if it meant living in hell for eternity.

But it was useless. For the first time, it didn't matter how hard he tried.

_Her face was the last thing he ever saw._

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	9. Author's Notes

**Author's Notes **

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Finally, this story is FINISHED!! I had it all done before I posted, but there were a few unfortunate occurrences that barred me from posting for almost a month on Chapter Seven, so I'm sorry about that. Otherwise, thank you to all of the following that reviewed – your support made the whole thing worth writing!

Hpottermania

Daisy Blue

ktlyn

ameo

Osmunda Regalis of Daybreak

redglasses

Daisy Silk

PurpleLight

spitfirestereotype

mrsbrandonflowers

MaskOfComedy

Drunk Cow

october tuscany

iluvreading

one-sirius-niece

bang on the head

flynnfriend

Serenity Meowth

Bryanna

Quidditchstar2291

moe.

Jessiquie

Hpfan555

names are overrated

To everyone that didn't review, I hope you enjoyed the story anyway. I know the chapters were all pretty short, but I had to do that to go along with the particular style I set up for the story.

Thanks again!

_Telemachos_


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